Befriending Your Brain to Persevere in What Matters Most
Hey there, well-seasoned friend,
You are wired with a flexible, adaptable brain.
And practicing how to befriend it?
That might just be the key to persevering in the things that matter most.
Lately, I’ve been re-learning this in real time.
After a season focused on my Mom’s health—where everything else (my own appointments, professional work, supportive routines, even family vacation planning) had to be set aside—I’m finally beginning to transition back to a version of daily life that’s able to encompass a broader scope of what matters most to me.
(Gratefully, Mom’s Stage Four cancer has been declared resolved.) :)
But the shift back into “normal” rhythms hasn’t been as seamless as I expected. I’m discovering a quiet, but persistent, internal resistance.
It sounds like:
“Why even bother?”
“Will anything I do even matter?”
Have you been there?
When the emotional energy you need to re-engage just isn’t showing up?
When doing the good, necessary things feels… kind of pointless?
These are the moments when we need our inner Mother energy—not the over-functioning, over-doing version, but the archetypal Mother:
The one who teaches us how to persevere.
The one who knows that repetition builds resilience.
The one who lovingly reminds us to “do the reps.”
But first, we have to interrupt the downward spiral of inertia.
Here are a few gentle, brain-friendly ways to begin:
1. Practice the “Best Possible Outcome” Technique
You know that thing you keep avoiding (like making your mammogram appointment)? Instead of imagining the worst-case hassle, try imagining the best possible outcome:
Scheduling is easy
The tech is kind and gentle
The results (whatever they are) give you clarity
And you’re left with deep gratitude for access to preventive care
This isn’t toxic positivity. It’s neurological priming—using your imagination to create openness and calm in your nervous system, which makes it easier to take action.
2. Release the “Easy Button” Fantasy
We all carry a secret wish that everything important could just be easy. That wish is human—and also unhelpful.
Try saying this aloud:
🌀 “I now release the need for everything to be easy. I can do hard things. I can figure things out.”
This tiny reframe restores agency.
It puts you back in the driver’s seat without expecting perfection.
3. Fall Back to Basics
When everything feels like too much, it’s okay to retreat to your most basic supports:
Nourish your body with real food
Hydrate regularly
Go to bed early
Walk outside
Take a deep breath with your hand on your heart
4. Add 15 minutes of positive affect journaling a few times a week.
Write with the intention of noticing what’s good. For help, use A Well-Seasoned Woman’s Field Guide & Journal—like I have. Get your copy here.
You’ll start to remember what’s possible.
You are not broken.
You are adapting.
And you can build the resilience you need to create a life you love—where your healthspan matches your lifespan.
But it starts with befriending your beautifully adaptable brain.
Let gratitude soften the edges.
Let mindset work open the windows.
And let this season be a holding pattern, not a stopping point.
You’re doing important work.
Even now.
Especially now.
With love and steadiness,
